Nivedita Kamath Week #13: Life as a Memory-based Conversation
Life as a Memory-based Conversation
I like to imagine my life as a conversation with myself. As I search through my memories for the events that truly impacted my identity, I find myself lost in the story of my life. Memories are strange in that the older I become, the more their significance changes. My perception of reality expands while my memories stay frozen in time. This conversation I have with myself molds my identity from those memories. I look back at who I was, where I was, or why I did something in order to keep putting my best self forward. Some memories I appreciate for reminding me of my capabilities and desire to combat life, while others remain mentally burdensome, reluctant to fade from my subconscious.
Memories forever alter how I perceive the world. Such effects can be seen in the form of nostalgia from memories I could never forget, déjà vu from memories I can never remember, scars from moments ingrained in my heart, fears, regrets, dreams, love, pain . . .
In fact, I am alive today because the antibodies in my blood remember how to counteract harmful alien bacteria and viruses.
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In order to continue my life’s conversation, I make new memories and reflect on my past mentality or behavior. I have the privilege of deciding who I want to become and how I intend to become her, but the path is only as clear as a puzzle without a final reference image. I could just stop and leave the pieces as they are; but instead, I reason with myself that the desire to persist exceeds the risk of failure. Sorting pieces by shape or color, putting pieces together to see if they fit—simply settling on a strategy and beginning itself is an internal choice that keeps me living.
Without the memories of who I once was, I could never understand who I am today. Memories are all my mind has access to in order to make sense of reality. Imagine if you lost all memory of your life. Would you think the same way? Would you still be you?
Thank you for my weekly dose of Nivedita's philosophical blog posts that confuse me more than anything and keep me up at night. All jokes aside, I see you make a very valid point about the significance in the role that memories play in identity. I remember reading stories about amnesiacs and their constant struggle of rediscovering their identity after completely losing their memories. Our lives are definitely built off of the constantly circulating memories in our minds, and I definitely see value in choosing to have good memories to further shape my identity into who I want to become.
ReplyDeleteHey Nivedita, I wanted to first say that this was a gorgeously crafted blog post and I love the wonderful connections you make between your own memories and your reality. I have never thought that deeply into how our past memories, not just our actions, may define us. I often try to push down my own memories that cause me too mental burden, but it is much harder for me to embrace them and apply them in my present. Your analogy of memories and life to a puzzle just exemplifies how truly open ended the question of life is. There is no one ideal fate for anyone and it is important to accept our past and live our present without the constant fear of messing up.
ReplyDeleteHey Nivedita, first of all, this was certainly very interesting to read and ponder upon especially because you made quite deep connections between reality and your personal memories which actually correlate so well together, I love your thought process and connections. That being said, I never realize how well reality and our memories go together. It's crazy that our memories are one of the biggest basis that help represent/define us as individuals. I never realized that until you said it, so thank you so much for making me realize that.
ReplyDeleteHey Nivedita, your philosophical definition and outlook on your own life really interests me, because I wonder how I would turn out in the reality that I could not remember my memories. Like you mention, my memories shape my outlook on the world, and my experiences influence my decisions and actions. Like a conversation, my life will continue as I continue to take action and create my own life path. Thus, to answer your question, my path would not lead the same way if I did not have the previous stepping stones.
ReplyDeleteHi Nivedita, I agree with you that our memories have great importance to us. Last Friday, I watched a thriller movie with my dad about a woman who came back from the hospital and lost her memory. What she did not initially realize was the man who picked her up was not her husband, but her stalker. A few weeks prior, the stalker had killed her family and gotten in a fight with her actual husband. Every time the woman started remembering her past, the stalker whacked her in the head with a rock and tied her to her bed. This is definitely an extreme situation, but it shows that our memories could keep us safe and away from dangerous people.
ReplyDeleteHi Nivedita! This post was very insightful and you must have done some serious reflecting throughout your life. I love your unique perception of life as a conversation. Feelings of nostalgia and deja vu especially stick with me and shape my feelings about the present, and I like your analogies with puzzle pieces and scars.
ReplyDeleteHi Nivedita! Your blogs are always so insightful and interesting to read! It is true that memories are important. I have never thought about the fact that if I lost my memories, would I still be the same? Have the same personality? That is actually quite a fascinating topic. I love how your blogs always get philosophical it allows me to view life from another perspective.
ReplyDeleteHi Nivedita, your blog reminds me of the movie "Fight Club." In the movie, the protagonist struggles to identify his true identity due to his struggle with dementia. It is hard to imagine a life without memories, because is anyone the same person after significant memory loss? Our lives revolve around the search and organization of our memories in different ways, and the significant loss of memory results in deep internal pain for the individual and pain for people that know the person. The concept and importance of "memories" is often under appreciated.
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ReplyDeleteHi Nivedita, your blog made me feel that we are incredibly fortunate to have evolved with the ability to remember our memories because without our memories, we wouldn’t be who we are. Memories do shape our identities because they build us into who we are becoming in the future. Then, on the other hand, some people’s memories work against them. Imagine a person who was sad or traumatized. Such a person’s memories may be helping to keep them in such a state. Maybe starting over and just focusing on living eagerly everyday could be another possible way to live a better life for some.
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