Riddhika Parmar, Week 9: The Power of Empathy
Riddhika Parmar
Week 9 - 1/19/22
The Power of Empathy
Which type of communication would you prefer?
Version 1: “You BETTER get this assignment turned in to me by Friday OR ELSE heads will roll!!!”
Version 2: “Please turn in the assignment by Friday because we need to review it in class to have the most time to edit and take feedback into account.”
What gets you working? Okay, what gets you to work successfully in the long term, doing your best work? For me, the choice is clear: version 2. Version 2 makes me feel like we are working together towards a common goal and we want to do our best together. Version 1 makes me feel closed off, irritated, and threatened. This can be harsh to deal with, especially in the workforce, where people may feel like their manager doesn’t really care about them as people. And, they may become overwhelmingly terrified of losing their job. If people had to constantly deal with version 1 on a regular basis, they’d probably have anxiety and eventually shut down or have a physical illness from continuous stress. To avoid such a negative situation, people need to practice utilizing empathy.
Part of the reason many people do not express empathy is a lack of understanding about what it is and how to convey it effectively. Empathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and understanding a situation from that person’s point-of-view instead of your own. It means not only reacting but applying more patience. In any conflict, practicing empathy does not mean you have to agree with someone; instead, you should focus on understanding that person’s perspective and reasoning by really listening, and then physically showing the person that you understand. This can be hard to do but it is extremely important for any relationship — personal, work, etc.
Another reason some people don’t empathize with others may be due to a lack of personally experiencing the feeling of empathy from another individual. The most empathetic people have been observing and learning how to practice empathy from a very young age. Understanding others is a skill that needs to be taught while children are young, and it needs to be reinforced as they grow. It takes empathy to know empathy.
Ultimately although the words in version 1 are strong and forceful, the effect of the language in this version is less powerful. Version 2 feels motivating and positive, and is more effective in the long term because it builds a relationship with another individual. We have the power to connect with each other in more meaningful ways, and we should strive to do so to become better role models for future generations.
https://elcbroward.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/empathy-babies-Copy.jpg
Credit:https://www.mastersincommunications.org/empathy-what-why-how/
https://www.people-results.com/call-empathy-key-effective-communication-relationships/#:~:text=Actively%20listening%20with%20empathy%20is%20a%20powerful%20and,when%20you%20have%20a%20strong%20point%20of%20view
https://www.scholastic.com/teachers/articles/teaching-content/ages-stages-empathy/
I was listening to this podcast on my way to school about these young children who knew to comfort someone whose grandparent had just passed away, and how these children naturally had this understanding of empathy within their system. I definitely believe a good upbringing and examples of empathy are crucial to developing one's own empathy because it is well-known that serial killers with rough upbringings are usually sociopathic, resulting in their lack of empathy towards others. This calls for the importance of valuing human contact and relationships, so adoption of a digital society with the internet and social media is probably not the best way to promote empathy.
ReplyDeleteI recently read a book that had a quote relaying how people can have power over others as long as it is not explicitly asserted. Although it can seem draining sometimes to not just let the lust over power and urgency take over and think about the situations and perspectives of others, those who take the time to do so have immense power. When a task is presented in a calm and motivating way that shows benefit for the person who must complete it, it is much more likely that that work will not only get done, but be completed with profound effort. Humans have a natural tendency to show reluctance in the face of strict power, but equal tendencies to soften in light of empathy and knowing that someone else cares.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that empathy is stronger than coercion in most instances. If the task at hand is completing a homework assignment chores, it makes sense to convey the message in a simple and understanding manner. However, if an employee has a large deadline that he or she has not started, reminding the consequences of not acting is quite efficient. I recently read a book called Atomic Habits and it explained how people do things either because it feels good or because they are scared of the consequences. There is a time and a place for both strategies.
ReplyDeleteHi Riddhika! You always choose such interesting blog topics. I find that when being asked to complete a task, I tend to be much more inclined to do so when the request is made with my needs taken into consideration. Threatening commands such as those I hear from my mother aren't as effective. Having a mutual understanding makes tasks less tedious when a stronger relationship is established.
ReplyDeleteHey Riddhika! I completely agree with you and the effects of empathy as compared to instructions that sound more like commands. We often find it hard enough to get ourselves to be productive and use our time to the best of our abilities. That being said, it’s always been easier to complete a task that was given to me with empathy and a soft voice as compared to someone yelling at me to get my work done, or commanding me to get it done because I have ‘no other choice.’ Commands like those just make me want to do the exact opposite of what the person has told me to do. The way you phrase something is most certainly an important factor that we don’t easily realize.
ReplyDeleteHi Riddhika! Empathy is for sure something I've seen lacking in many people I encounter. I don't blame them, as it is surely not easy to always relate or be open minded to someone. It is a skill that needs to be fostered from a young age; this could be done by teaching a child to always remain quiet to understand one's perspective, for example. Rather than threatening or forcing one to do something, a calm and rational voice has always worked. Looking at my current teachers, no one really threatens or screams at the class, but there are a select few who choose to teach with an empathetic view, understanding all that students go through. Thus, I can appreciate those teachers more because of their effort. Language is that differentiating factor.
ReplyDeleteHi Riddhika! Your blog really reminded me of what we had just learned in my AP Psychology class. While children learn the grammatical and syntactical rules of language, they also acquire the ability to feel empathy towards others. Babies start out learning observationally as you mentioned, and as the people around them show empathy, they will begin to also become capable of developing empathetic feelings for others. I find it amazing that children can learn to understand interpersonal relationships and social connections at such a young age and in such interesting ways.
ReplyDeleteHello Riddhika,
ReplyDeleteEmpathy can certainly save people's lives and mental health. Learning to communicate with others will be a life-long journey, and empathy is a skill I hope to expand as I expose myself to various types of people. It is difficult and almost stressful to communicate with someone who does not show a shred of care towards you. They may see them as above you, feel threatened by you, or just have some derogatory misconception about you; either way, it creates an emotional block between you and them. This same emotional block is what fuels most conflicts, such as wars, disputes, strikes, law suits, etc. It is incredible to think that empathy could help the next generation create a more peaceful world for themselves.