Rakshan Patnaik Week 10: Paranoia, Power, and Butterfly Effects
Rakshan Patnaik
Ms. Benedetti
AP English Language and Composition
2 February 2022
Paranoia, Power, and Butterfly Effects
I recently saw someone in a video say that they had no regrets because every decision they made shaped them into the person they are today. I have often thought about this prospect but in a negative light. I’m always paranoid about making the right decision or choosing the right course of action because it could be the deciding factor between a dream and a disaster.
As course selections come up, this time of year has typically been filled with paranoia and lots and lots of consultation with my parents over which class will get me into the college of my dreams or the career that makes me happy. Also, today in history, we had a college presentation by the counselors. This time of the year only heightens my paranoia regarding every single decision until I’m off to college. I don’t think this indecision due to this reason is unique to me. Each moment, choice, or action has a spectrum of power over your supposed future. The funny thing is, you don’t know how much power a small decision could have. I’ve seen this trend on TikTok specifically, talking about butterfly effects in their lives. That got me thinking about the butterfly effects in my life, and I feel like I don’t have any. Butterfly effects really interest me, because there very well could be Rakshans in different dimensions who’ve made slightly different choices sometime in the past 16 years, leading to a whole new butterfly effect for them. Does it increase my paranoia? As of late, no.
My most recent realization is that I need to let go of this paranoia and fear of the power of each singular choice. I hate to be that person that speaks about destiny and fate, but it really is something I can tell myself, to make myself believe that I’ll end up in the future that I deserve. I have always followed my mind and heart in choosing the rational decision that is right for me, so I have to end up in the future that I like, right? There are so many loopholes here, but the main conclusion is that I can’t be so insecure and indecisive in order to preserve my storybook future. My butterfly effects will surely continue to happen, but I’m gladly not focusing on them anymore. Side Question: Do you guys know your butterfly effects?
I was unaware of what the “butterfly effect” was before reading your blog post and I am rather intrigued. I did not realize that there is a phenomenon where people have just one event/decision in their life that determines how the rest of their life plays out. I, like you, can definitely not pinpoint a specific event in my life, but I am also still in the early ages of my youth, so maybe it will be more apparent in the future. For me, I see this as something I look forward to understanding in the future, and so I am not as fearful as you may be.
ReplyDeleteHey Rakshan, I’ve seen the butterfly effect trend on tik tok so I understand where your interest comes from. It’s intriguing and frightening to imagine how much if an impact can change your entire life. One of my friends recently talked about how a simple conversation led to her finding one of the most important prople in her life. However, at least in terms of college and career, I do think that if one cares enough, everyone will end where they need to be in life. I’m glad that you were also able to get over your paranoia regarding the butterfly effects of every decision, because we only have so much power over how our lives progress so we should just enjoy life sometimes.
ReplyDeleteEvery day we are given the opportunity to shape our future, but if we are always trying to shape our future, what happens to our lives in the present? I always had a hard time making decisions under pressure and, like you, have thought about how they might impact my destiny. But yesterday, when I only got 4 hours due to preparing for exams, and I consciously made the decision to practice volleyball, it made me reflect whether my decisions were helping my current wellbeing. Unfortunately, the answer is no, because I wasn’t feeling too well and felt exhausted by the time I got home.
ReplyDeleteHello Rakshan,
ReplyDeleteI actually see the butterfly effect as somewhat comforting, in the sense at any point in time there could be thousands of nonlinear versions of myself living their lives regardless of what decisions
I could have made it in the past. It broadens my perspective that I am not just defined by the actions I make or the direction I travel, but also my presence in the universe and power to change the future with just one action. There will never be a perfect version of my life, so what is stopping me from claiming this life as amazing. Contemplating career prospects is certainly stressful, so I try to keep in mind that whoever I end up becoming should never forget what is good in life when faced with something bad and always be ready to tackle the step ahead.
Hey Rakshan! I had no idea what the “butterfly effect” was until I read your blog. It’s really interesting that there is such a thing and it’s really unimaginable to think that one situation can change your entire life. Honestly, just like you, I can’t pinpoint that one event / happening in my life just yet but that being said, we have so many more years to thrive on this earth and I’m sure one day that event will take place right in front of our eyes and maybe if it has already happened, it will come to us as time lets it.
ReplyDeleteHi Rakshan! The butterfly effect is definitely an intriguing concept and I've thought about it a couple times before. I remember reading a book about it by Ray Bradbury a while back, where a tiny action snowballed into a series of disasters. Your concerns about classes, college, and careers are definitely valid. I've also been worrying excessively about these things lately, but I've also come to realize that a bad grade in high school won't ruin my entire life. I see no need to be so paranoid of tiny slip ups, so don't stress too much about it.
ReplyDeleteHi Rakshan! The butterfly effect is definitely something that I have thought about more than once. I have always wondered if there were certain decisions in life that indirectly altered my life significantly. Although we are unaware of these butterfly effects, they are sure to have occurred before. The only real life example I can think of right now is Hitler being rejected from art school. I have been very paranoid in the past, but now I believe a lot of my current issues won't matter later because even if you choose the "wrong" course or don't make it into your dream school, your feelings will only be temporary and other problems will always arise.
ReplyDeleteHi Rakshan, I remember having learned about the butterfly effect before, but your blog helped me better understand it. I personally feel like thinking about the big picture may be more helpful than thinking about every detail in life, since daily life can have a lot of ups and downs. Course selections can be put into better perspective when you realize it won’t have that large of an impact. You can also always change the outcome or the next chapter of your life if you find yourself somewhere you don’t want to be.
ReplyDeleteHi Rakshan, the concept of the butterfly effect is really interesting, because the smallest thing or most random occurrence may lead to large benefits or downsides. I think it's important not to focus on your life at that level of detail, but to continue doing what you love. I heard a quote along the lines of "don't look back at your life at age 80 and have many regrets." Stepping out of your comfort zone, doing something new is what will really lead to growth and success long-term.
ReplyDelete