Emily Nguyen Week 14: In The Now
In The Now
We all experience feelings of nostalgia now and then; reminiscing on past memories. Whether they were pleasant or unpleasant during the time, these moments would be missed years, even months in the future.
I notice that I've tended to appreciate periods of my life only after they've ended; so much so that I felt a sense of dissatisfaction in the present. Life in quarantine and the burnout I felt from zoom school had me constantly reminiscing on the past, whether it be freshman year or my kindergarten days; any time other than the present then was better. Essentially, I was miserable in the present, and living in the past.
Yet at the same time, upon experiencing junior year and the in-person experience I so desperately wanted during sophomore year, I found myself missing and wanting to go back to quarantine life, a time I remember being the most miserable I've ever been. Even now, I miss the laid back feeling of having school in my room, the minimal amount of responsibilities, the extra sleep, and the list goes on.
Seeing a pattern of missing the past, followed by time passing, and then missing that past where I dwelled on another past (it sounds complicated but I can't word it any other way), has brought me to the realization that I've neglected living in the present. If all I could think about in the present was the past, then I would never truly be able to live in the moment.
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Emily now, amidst struggle, burnout and the exhaustion of the present, knows that she will still find herself missing junior year in the near future. Having gratitude and being in the now would probably make her life more fulfilling. I'm not sure if this is relatable, or if it's just a me problem, but I would very much like to know :D.
Oh. My. God. I took Sophomore year, Freshman year, Junior High School, and especially Elementary school for granted. I would do anything to travel back in time and relive my carefree, stress free life then. Right now, I think that I am so miserable and I am slowly wasting my life minute by minute taking advantage of the safety and security of living with my parents. You reminded me that I need to go out right now and enjoy the life I am definitely taking too much for granted. Thank you. That is the end of my Ted Talk.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily, I found your blog topic relatable and as it reminded me to live in the present. However, I would not trade sophomore year online school for junior year in person. Compared to the boring online school, I find myself loving school more than ever. Even though we may be suffering (I saw half the class turn in their POAS at 3 AM), I know I have people to share my obstacles and victories with. Each student in our APENG class is brilliant, and I feel I have mirrored people’s energy/work ethic. This is unlike online school, where the only energy I resonated with was the electricity that powered wifi, and that too sometimes crashed. I want to thank my classmates for making junior year tolerable.
ReplyDeleteHello Emily,
ReplyDeleteI certainly dwell a lot about the past. Everyday, at least once, I wish I could go back in time and relive a time period in my life. I find comfort in knowing how things will happen and that I get through it in the end. The future is unpredictable and blurry, so why would I intentionally go there? Your blog has reminded me that although it seems easier to look at who I have become rather than who I could be, ultimately, the future is worth looking forward to.
Hi Emily! I was just thinking of wanting to go back to the past last night! Even my I took my math exam yesterday, I was thinking I would do anything to go back to 24 before when I was studying. There have been so many times in my life when I wanted to back to a time when it was easier, or it was less stressful, or I regretted something. However, I love your mindset in living in the now and being grateful for everything in the present.
ReplyDeleteHey Emily, I have this same dilemma all the time. I think about every year in the past and how little work and stress I had and how much happier I would feel and yet how in every year, I would never be able to truly appreciate it because I was comparing it to the past. I guess it just attests to the human desire to always want more and more and more and never be satisfied with how much we have. Even when I recognize myself not enjoying my present and knowing that the insane amount of schoolwork I get in junior year is nothing to fully taking care of myself in college, it's still hard to not be burdened by problems in the present even when you know future you is going to resent you for taking it for granted.
ReplyDeleteHey Emily! I think your blog post was what all of us needed, a reminder to not take advantage of everything we have and to make sure to live life to the fullest from the beginning. I think one of the hardest things for us, as high schoolers has to be living in the present moment. We seem to always forget about the present moment and instead dwell on what we did in the past or what will happen in the future. When we have a presentation or test, we seem to concentrate and stress about what the outcome will be instead of actually spending the entirety of the time we have studying. We need to realize that we live only one life, and life can take turns anytime it wants. We need to live in the present moment and I think that's the biggest reminder I got from your post so thank you!
ReplyDeleteHey Emily! First of all, you are not alone in feeling this way. The burnout and stress and hardships that come during junior year make me reminisce the easier, more relaxed times of online school during quarantine. But during that time, I missed the in-person experiences like traveling to India and having parties with family friends. The memories of the last major period only shine after it has ended, and I find it interesting how I only remember the last major period in a good light and rarely in a bad light. Also, I just wanted to say I liked how personal and philosophical your blog was, Emily. I wish you the best in maintaining gratitude during your current burnout and thank you for your blog!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily, I did like quarantine life at first but then really missed in person school so I hope to never do that again. But I definitely agree, it’s nice to have a break now and then. Junior year is our hardest year but it’s already almost over. It is sad that our brains are always thinking about the past that went by or the upcoming future, but never the present. We wouldn’t worry as much if we could focus on the present, make the most of it, and just have fun. Nostalgia can always make situations look better than how it actually was. As we remember the past, it seems like it just wasn’t as complicated and was more carefree and enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily, I've also experienced something similar. At least for me, I would attribute it to memory blocking. For example, if I had a period of time that I did not feel the best in (like the pandemic), I look back at it normally or fondly because I have blocked out all the "bad" memories. I don't think this is the most healthy, but my mind just works that way unless I put down my thoughts on paper and try really hard to remember what really happened.
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